The Fallen One
by Phoenix Fan
Summary: Charles Xavier thinks about his past and his students. R/R please!


_**The Fallen One**_

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There is always one amongst them who falls. Although it is never the one you expect, they always seem to tumble. When they are at the top, they are revered. Once they have fallen, they are detested. Once they have fallen, nothing they have ever done before matters. The only thing that matters is that moment of weakness where they surrender their defenses and spiral down. You may ask yourself how I would know this. I know this because I am Charles Xavier and I am the fallen one.

I didn't mean too, honestly. It wasn't as though I had planned it to happen. My students and I had to take a stand against Erik. His madness was about to consume everyone. I know he only had the best of intentions. My goal was a bright one too. What is the old saying? "The Road to hell is paved in good intentions." That road is now etched in my memory like the Road leading to my home.

Logan was always a feral man, I know this. He wanted to Stop magneto as we all did, but whenever Erik struck back, we were taken totally unaware. I have witnessed Erik Lensherr do a great many things in his days, but never domething so evil. Using his powers, he ripped Logan's skeleton out through his pores. His howls of pain still haunt me late at night in this desolate place.

I couldn't allow anything else to happen. Like Erik, I had finally reached my threshold and surpassed it. Using all of my powers, I reached into his mind and destroyed him. All his memories, all his hopes and dreams, erased. In a single moment, I destroyed a man's life. I have suffered the consequences ever since. Had I known that my actions that day would have caused such a tragic turn of events, I may have acted differently.

Logan was harmed badly, I didn't think he would make it. Jean and I tried to help him, and in the end, it was the unspoken attraction between Logan and Jean that saved his life. Just as she had returned from the dead to save those she loved, Logan seem to come back from the dead to save her. Despite his injuries, he leaped at the removed hatch of the Blackbird and rescued her.

After some time recuperating, Logan decided to leave for a while. I understood his need for privacy at this time. I even remember his letter to me saying good bye. It wasn't until after Scott and Jean were married that I read it. He had told me to lighten up. He had no idea how much I needed that. A few months later, he came back, still damaged but relatively okay. 

As time passed, I began to change, little by little every day. I didn't notice the changes myself, and apparently, no one else did either. Some events had transpired to make Logan's feral nature a little more dominant and Bishop was living two lives as a result as well. My son caused all this damage by trying to change the past. I prefer not to talk about it. It's reprecussians will come into play later in this tale.

I suppose the day it all really burst was the day he died. I didn't know him myself, but I could feel him from miles away. My darker side I was attempting to hide so was given a chance to be born now. A mutant boy coming to me for help was murdered at my gates, beaten to death by those that feared him. I don;t know how it happened, but after that I slept more. I thought it was just depression, but it turned out to be more later.

The scientific community generally calls it Multiple Person Disorder. I think my case was more unique. When a person has split personalities, it is usually thier psyche which creates it to do what they themselves desire to do. In my case, my psyche was combined with Erik's. After I erased his mind, it apparently joined with mine. Like a parasite, it incubated in my dark side and grew stronger. This amalgam of Erik and I later called itself the Onslaught. It took my dream and Erik's dream and twisted it ever so slightly to create it's own. 

The guilt still runs over me. I wished I had the strength to stop it, but deep inside, it was only doing what I wanted it to do. I wanted my dream to become real, and as Onslaught, I had no reason to hold back. I did things which I am not proud of, but things I must say, to give myslef closure.

The first thing I did was find my brother, Cain. As Juggernaut, he always stood in my way. I guess I was hoping he would join me in my new crusade. He obviously wouldn't, so I struck him from the far reaches of Canada into New York. He knew who I was, but I got inside his mind and prevented him from saying anything. He was sucked into a shadow realm shortly after so his threat had ended.

Next, I took four of my students, Cyclops, Storm, Wolverine, and Iceman, to a place where they would be tested. The future I had planned would require my students. I had my herald, whom I called Post, to test them and see how they could function together against a threat so immense. As I had anticipated, they denied the offer to join on this new quest, not knowing who I was. I had them immediately returned.

After that, I visited my protoge, Jean. She had great powers. Under my new guidance, I believed she would help me. She too did not know my true identity. I even offered to help her regain the Phoenix force. Of course, she refused me. I wanted that power for myself. I had planned on reading her subconsious thoughts and learn how she served as the template for that power, but failed.

Sometime around this point, Juggernaut returned to this reality and sought out Jean's help in discovering my identity. She took him to the Z'Noxx chamber beneath the school where their minds would be protected. After a few obstacles, they were able to discover my identiy. Afraid of what he saw, Juggernaut found his way to me. I repaid him for not helping me by trapping him within the jewel that served as his source of powers. My Onslaught persona was now in total control.

I summoned my X-Men to me and offered them the chance to help. When they refused, I took matters into my own hands. I invaded Bishop's mind to discover how Apocalypse had ruled the World in the alternate world my son had created. I also decided to rip the information I needed directly from Jean's mind. I never really realized before just how well I had trained her. I was not able to find out what I needed.

She was able to run from me and make a transmission for help. The damage to the mansion caused the tape to become broken and staticky. I went into that room believeing that all my X-Men were killed by me and decided to add Jean to that list. The X-Men foiled my plans and lived. I took that oppurtunity to make my escape. McCoy, the Apocalypse age version of Hank accompanied me.

I realized I could take two mutants from this world and use their powers to create the world anew. One of them was Nate Grey, the Apocalypse version of Cable, a source for never ending energy, and Franklin Richards, the son of the Fantastic Four's Reed and Sue Richards. he could make anything become reality. Combining their powers with my own would enable me to create the world anew. It was amidst this chaos that I was able to wake from inside Onslaught and realize what he was doing.

The combined force of the X-Men, Fantastic Four and Avengers would not allow that to happen. In a moment of passion, Thor, the God of Thunder, struck deep and heavy into my heart. He was able to release me from Onslaught hoping that without me, Onslaught would not live. He was wrong. Onslaught was now freer than ever and I was rendered powerless, somehow losing my telepathy. 

Onslaught continued to strike, even with me removed. On that final battle, his structure was destroyed and His energy began to seep out. The Heroes of this world decided that they together were able to stop him. They became his new host and hoped it would end him. Sometime in this chaos, they disappeared. I returned home with my students in this world without heroes.

I guess all I could do now was wait. I was responsible for the destruction of New york City and the death of the woprld's mightiest heroes. I was taken into custody by The Federal Government have remained here since. It is lonely and quiet. I sit her now and think about my students.

Scott Summers. I dubbed him Cyclops because he had an uncontrollable blast which flowed from his eyes. He was like a son to me. I always felt I was his father. We shared a bond that to this day is still strong. He is strong. Leader and patriot. My Son.

Jean Grey, my darling Jean. She is my dream given birth to. My first student. So beautiful. She is willing to sacrifice her life for those she loves and has done so before. She has always came back to us. Fitting is her title. Phoenix.

Logan. The Feral Wolverine. He is my senior, despite his youthful appearance. A real loner. Never cared for anyone, yet he has reflected my dream since I met him. Dedicated and Strong. Noble and honorable. Mysterious. Logan

Ororo Monroe. Storm. The Weather Goddess. Strong and bold. So caring and compassionate. Theif of my heart and soul, as well as my wallet. Wise beyond her years. Mother nature. Dignified and free. A sparrow's song. Storm.

Remy Lebeau. Gambit. A judas. A thief. A hero. His scoundral heart hides his feelings. He never shows his heart. The past is his playground. He steals not only what can be seen but what cannot. Our brother. Our traitor. Our savior. Our Gambit.

Rogue. So scared. So calm. So open yet so sheltered. She cannot touch us. She cannot feel the touch of others. This physical need consumes her. Yet under it, she has touched us all with her love an courage. She is the theif of our hearts. Rogue.

All my students echo in my mind. Things unspoken and unsaid. My students who remain with us and those who have left. Some who have died in the goal of my dreams. Those students willing to fight for what I believed in. My pride and my Joy. They are my X-Men. And despite my sins, they are the ones who won't turn me away. They are my friends who accept me in spite of my flaws.

There is always one amongst them who falls. Although it is never the one you expect, they always seem to tumble. When they are at the top, they are revered. Once they have fallen, they are detested. Once they have fallen, nothing they have ever done before matters. The only thing that matters is that moment of weakness where they surrender their defenses and spiral down. You may ask yourself how I would know this. I know this because I am Charles Xavier and I am the fallen one.

_**~fin~**_

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